GameCop vs. LameCop is a feature where Anthony and I argue about video game issues, playing the role of either the GameCop or the LameCop as we do so. We switch roles each time. The GameCop has your best interests as gamers at heart, while the LameCop is just what he sounds like: a total loser.
This week, we tackle several issues including multiplayer in single player games, Nintendo’s lackluster GTA: Chinatown Wars sales and E3 predictions.
There are rare moments in gaming life that make me stop and say “wow”. I pick up the controller, and I know that I’m playing gaming gold, that what I am experiencing is something new and fresh and fascinating, and I know it within a couple of minutes of gameplay. Then, there are times when the exact opposite happens. When I know that what I am playing is complete and utter crap. And it barely took me long to figure it out.
For me this weekend, that was Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena. While I’ve been excited to play this game for months, I was pretty horrified early on when I discovered how shoddy the gameplay mechanics felt, how boring the whole thing was, and how glitchy it was to boot. I mean, hell, they literally use the same exact tutorial from the XBox game (Escape from Butcher Bay) as the intro to this one, shocking you with its outdated graphics. I was really disappointed at how boring the game is, because I really wanted to like it.
So what about you guys? What’s the last game that you played where you knew almost instantly that you didn’t want to play it anymore?
As newly elected mayor of SimCity (thanks to my Virtual Console) I pledged to finally do what I had never been able to when I originally played this as a kid: create a town with a population of 500,000 citizens. As I write this, I have 460,000 people and things have been running very smoothly…until now.
See, my citizens have developed a case of the dreaded, “We So Stupid” Syndrome. For those of you that don’t know, WSSS is a horrible disease that affects people all over the world, not just in video game simulations. I have used all the land in my city. I have been a decent leader, who built all industrial zones around the edge of town, minimizing pollution. Of course, that didn’t stop the little artificial bastards from bitching about it!
I built all their houses far away, so the only time they would ever enter an area with anything less than pristine air would be…IF THEY WORKED THERE! And if you work in a place that pollutes the air, but rather than get a job at the mall (I built lots of those, too!), you would prefer to blame the mayor for the desecration of the air, which you in fact cause by working there… kill yourself.
No, wait. I need you for the population count. Which brings me to next point: if I build a residential zone, I want houses built there, not schools or hospitals! All I want is to cram enough of these little morons into the limited space I have available to me (apparently, invading the neighboring towns is out of the questions) in order to get to the half million mark to get that damn Mario statue I have always longed for. And these fools decide to build 14 hospitals and 12 schools, including 2 hospitals right next to each other!
Well, I certainly hope there weren’t that many sick or enfeebled people in 13 of those hospitals because I got a little trigger happy with my bulldozer and kinda demolished them all. Course, my little resiliant Sim-tards decided to rebuild one of them right in the same spot. I felt like the Joker in The Dark Knight, walking out of Gotham County General, tapping that detonator. Eventually the mooks learned their lesson. And as for those schools, well…that was just fun. Don’t worry, I left one of them standing. Too bad it’s all the way on the other side of the river! Good luck with that commute everyday!
Speaking of commutes, when you to a certain point, the Sim-jerks start getting uppity and demanding things. “Residents Demand A Stadium” started flashing on the bottom of the screen. Well, sure they do. But that’s going to raise the tax rate and if it dares hover anywhere over 3%, they start tea bagging each other! I mean, throwing tea parties. Or something. Then they wanted an airport. Now, I am not a cruel leader. I like to think of myself as a benevolent dictator. So I granted them their airport. Hell, can’t be bad for growth and business right?
Wrong. Literally 2 minutes later, a plane crashed. So either I built my airport just before happy hour ended or I have terrorists running around my city, which is a giant problem since I didn’t build any fire departments. And we all know fire departments is how you fight terrorism. So I had to lock the city down for a bit, demolish the nuclear power plants in order to prevent any yellow cake from getting stolen and then I realized I had better destroy any bakeries as well, because I am pretty sure they have yellow cake, too.
Crisis averted, I think. I saw one of our planes take off and fly over the city, so I am going to assume that was my personal army on its way to Borat’s country to deliver giant cans of whip-ass to anyone who speaks a different language. With any luck, I will manage to sardine some more Sim-fools into my city and get that Mario statue and finally achieve a boyhood dream. Wow…games sure do make you feel like a loser sometimes, but God, is it worth it.
Anyhow, what’s the hardest you’ve ever worked for an in-game secret?
It’s funny that in the newest edition of Sessler’s Soapbox, Adam Sessler should talk about the same thing I’ve been saying for a few months, most recently in last week’s feature about JRPG’s: Japanese developers have fallen off the rails. He lays out some of the issues and even mentions what part of the problem is, before offering a few solutions.
What do you guys think about this issue? Are Japanese devs playing catch-up to Western developers?
Mega64 is up to their old tricks again, this time bringing the likes of the legendary PS2 game Shadow of the Colossus to the real world. While they typically just rehash and repeat the same material in these kinds of videos, I couldn’t help but laugh the first time he jumped on the suited Colossus’s back. Pure hilarity.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqd9GiaJUos[/youtube]
In my life, there are lots of things that I’m not proud of. First, I’m a girl when it comes to horror movies. Or horror anything, really. I’m easily frightened, jumpy, and pretty much a big sissy when you break it all down. True story: when I think something scary is going to happen in the middle of a movie, I literally cower done in my seat and stick one finger in one ear, thus hopefully blocking out some of the inevitable noise whenever the scary thing pops out. Yes, it’s as pathetic as it sounds.
See? Lots of things that I’m not keen to admit to people, much less all of the Internet, but what the heck. The funny thing is, since gaming is such a big part of our lives, I’m sure that we all have things like that when it comes to gaming. Things that we don’t necessarily talk about or that we hide from other people for fear of public humiliation and rejection.
So, here are some questions that hopefully pull some gaming confessions out of you dudes. Answer with as much or little as you want.
Continue reading GamerSushi Asks: True Gaming Confessions
Wow. Gaming commercials used to be awful. And not just regular awful. But a special, superior awful reserved only for the most atrocious of media follies. Here is a video with the best of the worst old school video game commercials. It’s hard to believe that anyone used to buy these games after these advertisements. Za za za Zelda!
So, which one is your favorite? Mine would have to be the Pole Position one. Anything that says it will leave skidmarks on my soul is something that I will keep in my heart forever.
Video game reviews have a difficult existence. Some people use them to decide whether or not to buy games, others use them as ammunition in the Console Wars. Usually, very strong emotions are attached to these reviews. But one thing we seem to be missing that we should get mad about is the lazy and irritating cliches that constantly pop up in reviews, even from such esteemed sources as EGM.
Continue reading Cliches I Never Want To See In Game Reviews Again
Happy Easter, dudes. I know I’m a day late, but hey, it’s all good. While I didn’t have a long weekend due to days off and holidays, I know that some of you probably did, so I hope you got in lots of good gaming time while you could.
When thinking about the Easter season and gaming, I naturally thought about those oh-so-awesome gaming easter eggs that are sprinkled throughout our favorite titles. I’m a big fan of easter eggs, and I love replaying some of my favorites to go through and find those hidden gems that are put there by developers.
I’d have to say some of my favorite easter eggs are found in the Halo series, as there are dozens of them. I think the coolest one would have to be the uber fuel rod cannon found in Halo 2’s first level. Also, I think the alternate way of killing The End in MGS3 (by turning your PS2’s clock forward) is hilarious.
So what about you guys? What are your favorite gaming easter eggs?
Just when I thought I had curbed the Halo 3 addiction, Bungie goes and releases this Mythic Map Pack trailer. The map pack will be hitting tomorrow April 9, and sports 3 brand new maps. I think the most intriguing thing about it is Sandbox, which has 3 different spaces for tons of Forge-ness to take place, which will no doubt lead to lots of community created custom games. And those always rule. So, are any of you guys planning on picking this up?
Once again, got to love the April Fool’s posts from all over the Internet today. Actually, you don’t. I mean, while I think it’s funny that everyone does gags, it actually irritates me that for a whole day I can’t read anything real online. Kind of lame.
However, this fake trailer for a new God of War: Chains of Olympus play mode featuring the Companion Cube from Portal is the opposite of lame. In fact, it’s incredible. I’d totally play this game.
April Fool’s Day is here, so there will be almost no video game news out over the next 24 hours that we can even hope to trust for the most part, which will make for an undoubtedly slow posting day. Already, people are dropping rumors like Final Fantasy VII on PSN, Dragon Quest IX on sale in Japan, and then some.
So, it got me wondering if you guys have any funny gaming pranks or feats you have ever pulled off? They don’t necessarily have to be related to April Fool’s, but any kind of trick you’ve pulled on someone else related to gaming, or had pulled on you.
For me, it would have to be WCW Vs. NWO for the N64, where I would play as a character named Dr. Frank. My friends all swore that Dr. Frank was cheap and had boosted stats, and I always defended the good Dr. and said that he didn’t. Well, after some research, we found out that the character actually was cheap. So, they edited the character while I was gone and put him in a bikini and changed his name to “Eddys A Cake”. Sometimes, they still use that name just to make fun of me.
What about you guys? Go!
You all know of my nerdy fanboy-slobbering love for all things Valve, specifically Left 4 Dead in recent months. As many have discussed on this before and even today, it’s a great co-op game that requires the utmost teamwork between 4 players in order to survive.
Well, what happens when you add 12 players? It becomes awesome, that’s what. Check out this new mod that requires lots of trickery but ends in good times. Kind of great.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dF0fm5zvfeU[/youtube]
Source- L4D Mods
I’ve always wondered what goes into naming a potential big brand hit in video games. Do they pick the first name that sticks, or is there a much longer process, for instance? Today at GDC, Harmonix revealed several of the trial names for Rock Band, before they ultimately decided on the one that we know and relate to. And let me say: they picked well, considering these other options:
Makes me wonder if other franchises go through this. Any chance that Grand Theft Auto was once Hooker Shooter Extreme? So, which of these has your vote?
Ok, this is just one massive WTF bomb right here. After taking, I don’t know, about 4-5 years to make Resident Evil 5, Capcom said today that Resident Evil 6 could take up to 8 years of development time, “but hopefully only four”. Wtf? Seriously? I mean, I’m all for taking your time and making a good game, but we could be on the PS5 and XBox 1 Million by then. Arnold will be serving his re-election as President of the United States.
And Japanese developers wonder why they’re having trouble competing with Western developers these days. It’s because the rest of the gaming world is moving on while they’re stuck in molasses, I suppose.
So what do you guys think of the possibility of an 8 year wait for Resident Evil 6? Fair/foul?
Source- D+Pad
Ah, gotta love the news media. They can take a story about a video game and twist it however they want. Take this story about a new game called Layoff, for example. It’s a bejeweled clone which lets the player lay off workers, and instead of a high score, your points come across as the amount of money you’ve saved the company.
Clearly, this game is made to demonstrate a greater point through satire. But even still, the news show can miss that point, go on the streets, get soundbites from uninformed interviewees and then claim that the game has upset quite a few people. This is why I don’t watch the news anymore.
What do you guys think? Is the game too far?
By the way, if you want to play the game yourself, check it out here.
(The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of a Wii fangirl that 
Anthony made up for the purposes of humor and irony. They do not reflect the views of GamerSushi.com. In short: it’s a joke!)
You know, being on top isn’t easy. Having a Nintendo Wii is so rewarding, yet exhausting at the same time. In between my playing the most popular video game system in years, I constantly have to defend myself against attacks from the “hardcore” gamers. These mouth-breathers, so busy bathing in their bloody games full of filth and cursing, seem to think that the Wii is a lesser system than their giant boxes of boredom. I mean, the PS3 is so large and bulky that if a leopard came at me, I could kill it! And I’m an 11-year-old girl!
There are so many great things about the Wii that these hardcore gamers can’t see. By the way, I may be young, but I know “hardcore” is a type of adult entertainment found on the Internet a lot and for most of these people, it’s as close as they are ever getting to a person of the opposite sex. And plus, look at my amazing grammar! You don’t see such good spelling anywhere on those hardcore message boards, do you? See what I did there?
A lot of these people talk about how dumbed-down Wii games are. What a joke! “Super Smash Bros Brawl is so easy! Just hit ‘A’ to win!” Well, Smarty-Pants, try it. Hit “A” over and over and see what happens. Super Smash Bros Brawl is a game of intricate strategy. You have to do more than hit “A”. Often, I have to jump to get items, dodge attacks and mash ALL the buttons in order to win! And even that doesn’t always work. So if you are having problems winning at this game, maybe you aren’t as hardcore as you think you are, tee hee.
The other game they like to cry about is Mario Kart Wii. They use some term called, “Rubber-band AI”, which means the game actually tries to help the people losing. What’s so wrong about that? When I first played, I beat my big brother 3 times in a row! I made an amazing comeback by getting Blue Shells, Bullet Bill and a TON of Mushroom Turbo Boosts! I went from 12th place to 1st in half a lap! He was so mad and he said a lot of very bad words about Nintendo. So you see, that’s why I think rubber-band AI is so good because my big brother needs all the help he can get!
Another thing they don’t like are Friend Codes. But Friend Codes are made for pretty little girls like me! They protect me from all the evil guys I see on “To Catch A Predator” and that hang out at my bus stop offering me candy. So now, those guys can’t get to me online when I want to make Miis of myself and all my friends! Plus, even the non-creepy guys always want to talk to me and they like to curse when my brother plays Halo, so I am glad I don’t have to deal with them. Nintendo seems to think that everyone online is a pervert, so who needs them?I have real friends in the real world, I don’t want friends online. That’s what WebKinz and Myspace are for!
So for all those hardcore gamers out there that seem to hate on the Wii and us younger gamers who have fallen in love with it, I would like to say one thing: get a life! Just because you have great graphics, diverse gameplay, accessible online gaming and lots of games who’s favorite color is brown, doesn’t mean that you have it all. I have the Wii and when Nintendo releases the Wii 2 in a year or so, with graphics that are slightly better and a touch screen you can stick over your TV screen and play DS games on, you will be even more jealous than you are now!
If you didn’t know, I’m at South By Southwest in Austin for the weekend. It’s a big media event with Music, Film and Internet stuff, and I’m currently at the Internet portion on business for my job. While I’ve been going to cool panels about new media and social networking, I also got to go to the “ScreenBurn Arcade”, which is devoted to video games.
Though ScreenBurn itself was kind of lame, I did get to play Halo 3 against one of the Frag Dolls, the professional girl gamers that play games and are also hot… and I got my ass kicked. I mean, it wasn’t too awful, she had 25 kills and I had 17 or so, but still, I was a little embarrassed. Luckily I didn’t talk trash beforehand.
It got me wondering about other public humiliations I’ve faced as a gamer. Probably the biggest one was playing DOA2 with my friends, talking trash like crazy… only to have my brother wander in, kick my ass and then walk away. All my friends gave me crap for weeks.
So, have you ever had a time where you got your tail whipped at a game in public? What was it? Go!
Yeesh. Talk about an online multiplayer slugfest. While browsing through the Halo Wars forums today, I caught this thread about a particularly epic battle that a poster’s roommate was involved in.
You see, it started out as a 2v2 match, in which the poster was defeated early on. His roommate (scruffalupogus) held his ground however, and proceeded to battle the two opponents to a standstill. This continued for a while. And by “a while”, I mean all night and into the next morning. And the afternoon. Eventually, one of the teammates quit, leaving just two combatants, scruffalupogus and GL0RYSEEKER to duel it out, RTS style, for a grand total of an 8 hour Halo Wars match.
Yes. 8 hours. You can check the match out here. Hit the jump for a few noteworthy statistics…
Continue reading The Eight Hour Halo Wars Duel
