Category: Humor

The GamerSushi Show, Ep 29: Colluders

Here’s a new podcast that’s not exactly new, seeing as how we recorded it a couple of weeks ago. That being said, it’s still a hoot. Is that what the kids are saying these days?

We talk about a variety of topics once the cast kicks off, from PSN to Brink and even a bit of the Gears of War 3 Beta, and just how much I want to have its babies. True story. After that, we kick things up a non-Minecraft notch with a game of Either/Or. For real, it’s good times. I only wish you all could join us during these games, because Nick does a great job of picking topics.

Oh, that’s right. You can. In the comments. Join in, dudes.

Alright, time to listen up. And when you’re done, go rate. Continue reading The GamerSushi Show, Ep 29: Colluders

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The GamerSushi Show, Ep 28: R2-Cast2

GamerSushi shot first!

I’m a little late in posting this, so my apologies to Nick, who edited it, and all of you that are no doubt going into the shakes from desperation. Like you do. I know that’s how much you like hearing us chat about games and acting the fool.

We recorded this episode back in Star Wars week, so the big portion of the beginning is all about that fair series, and what games we loved that came out of the beloved Star Wars universe. We have a pretty lively discussion about it, and I’m sure you’ll enjoy the nerdery.

Other topics of the podcast include the Mass Effect 3 delay, Assassin’s Creed 3 and more. Nick drops in with a game of grades, where we rate some of the goings-on around the industry. So yeah. Typical podcast stuff.

Go on, dudes. Listen, rate and enjoy. Continue reading The GamerSushi Show, Ep 28: R2-Cast2

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Today’s WTF: Obsidian Regrets New Vegas Bugs

Obsidian

Seriously, Obsidian?

I’m not trying to be a troll or anything, but this one really gave me a combination of laughs and head-scratching. You remember all of that fuss last year, back when Fallout: New Vegas had its buggy launch? Well, so does Obsidian, and they are none too pleased, thank you very much.

Here’s what Obsidian CEO Feargus Urquhart had to say about his company’s reputation for releasing buggy games in a recent article with Play Magazine.

I think it’s fair and unfair at the same time, because in the same conversation that I hear how buggy KOTOR and Alpha Protocol were, I also hear how great they were… Now in the case of Fallout: New Vegas, we made a gigantic game, and I’m proud with what we were able to do but I wish it wasn’t as glitchy when it came out. The criticisms people had are fair but it’s difficult to get a game the size of New Vegas bug free. But that’s an excuse and it doesn’t matter when someone’s paid $60 for a game. It’s something we need to work on.

He goes on to pump their new game Dungeon Siege III, but that was the meat of it. Maybe I’m reaching a bit here, but in my mind, if you’re the CEO, why don’t you do something to ensure that the games don’t go out the door with so many bugs? You’re in charge, last I checked. Delay the game if you have to, or work with your managers to get a better schedule for release so your developers aren’t cramming like crazy. On the flip side, it really is nice to see a CEO being open and honest about this kind of criticism, rather than just brushing it aside. So kudos for that.

What do you guys think? Fair or foul here? Go!

Source – NowGamer

Bro Game Reviews

Alright nerds, it’s time to get real around here. When I’m not busy slamming beers and stealing your girlfriends, I sometimes play video games. As a guy who really knows his stuff, I thought I’d do all you dweebs a favor and tell you which of these upcoming games are worth your time and money. I’ve been convinced by the other dudes around here to use the grading scale to rate these games, so let’s pop those collars and get down to business. This is gonna be boss. Continue reading Bro Game Reviews

Today’s Awesome: Portal 2 in Halo: Reach

So Portal 2 is awesome, and all you guys love it. Well, I don’t like it (as much), and all of the other GamerSushi editors are pretty sure the reason is because Portal 2 is not a “bro” game (e.g. Call of Duty, Halo, Gears). Well, thankfully, some kind soul has cooked up an amazing Forge World creation that puts the reality-bending mechanic of Portal in the dudetacular world of Halo: Reach.

Pretty wicked, no? I was surprised that the Halo: Reach teleporters actually transfer momentum as you travel through them, so hats off to the creator x 7revorBlack x. What do you guys think of this odd mash-up?

The GamerSushi Show, Ep 27: The Portal One

Well, it was only inevitable that when we all finished Portal 2, the next podcast would be mostly dominated by that discussion. So, Episode 27 is the fruition of that idea. In it, we chat for a very long time about Portal 2, and then we move on to other big topics from the last couple of weeks, including Nintendo’s Project Cafe and the crazy huge hack of PSN.

After all of that tomfoolery, we jump into an exciting game of Fill in the Blank that was extremely well-played by myself. Trust me, you’ll want to hold onto your butts from my amazing vocabulaciousness. Anyway, be careful of the Portal 2 section, which makes up the first half hour, because the discussion comes complete with single player spoilers. If you’re not wanting to hear those, feel free to skip about 30 minutes ahead, as indicated by the time chart below.

What are you waiting for? Listen, rate and enjoy, yo. Continue reading The GamerSushi Show, Ep 27: The Portal One

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Gamestradamus Predicts: E3 2011

Every now and then, we like to pay a little visit to our good friend, Gamestradamus, the Gaming Fortune Teller. Last year, we asked him his predictions about the Nintendo 3DS, which turned out to be largely true, minus a few small quibbles. Gamestradamus is different than the rest of us lowly gamers in that he is gifted with the ability to see into the great beyond, the ever-future, the swirling blender of time – and he can tell us bits of what he knows.

As the E3 fervor is getting ready to build into complete mania over the next few weeks, we thought we’d pay Gamestradamus a visit to glean his secrets before the rumors broke. What we found was shocking, titillating (tee hee) and worth reporting about here at GamerSushi. Beware, gents. Spoilers. Continue reading Gamestradamus Predicts: E3 2011

The Great Funk of 2011

MorriganMeh.

The piercing sound of gunfire in Black Ops doesn’t move me. The clang of steel in Dragon Age: Origins can’t wake me. Even Glados and her homicidal puzzles fail to shake me from my electronic ennui.

I’m in a gaming funk.

It happens, from time to time, usually in the summer months, when the Florida sun shines down from what seems like an inch from my head, pelting me with a heat that is as oppressive as a batarian slaver. It happened a lot in college, when I didn’t always have the money to get the games I wanted, but the miasma sets in sometimes even now.

I know the cure. I just have to find it: the right game at the right time. That perfect synergy of carefully identifying my mood and calculating what the proper game is to propell me forward and upward, to eliminate the listless that has so gripped me. Continue reading The Great Funk of 2011

GamerSushi Asks: What Genres Do You Suck At?

sucking at marvel vs capcom 3

How’s your holiday weekend going, GamerSushi-ites? Me, I’ve been tucking into the Gears of War 3 beta again after doing a marathon Portal 2 session where I polished off the whole game, both single and co-op. I’m pretty sure that we’re going to do a “What Are You Playing” sometime this weekend, so we’ll table that discussion for later. Segueing from that, I am planning on checking out Mortal Kombat soon, which frightens me mostly because fighting games are one of the genres that I totally suck at.

To be totally honest, in a multiplayer standpoint, I’m really only good at first person shooters. Even though I’m loving the Gears 3 gameplay, I’ll admit that my Kill/Death ratio is pretty terrible, with one often outpacing the other (guess which one). The same thing goes for real time strategy games, where I can maybe hold my own in a campaign or a comp stomp scenario, but once I get out into the wild, everything just goes right down the tubes.

All that pales in comparison to how badly I perform at fighting games like Street Fighter, Marvel vs Capcom 3, Tekken and the like. I’ll maybe win the odd round, but more often than not I’m getting Hadoukened back to last week.

It’s rare that anyone admits that they’re bad at games, but we’re all friends here, so go ahead and let us know what genres you aren’t that great with. Fighting, racing, shooting? Drop them comment bombs, yo.

The GamerSushi Show, Ep 26: Nintendo Power

Another week, another podcast. This week’s cast covers the big happenings from last week: namely, the rumors of Nintendo’s new console, as well as the massive-but-actually-less-massive-than-everyone-first-though Portal 2 ARG. We actually kick things off a little differently in this episode, starting first with the game of percentages.

After all of that riveting discussion (and my consequent victory), we dive into a lengthy conversation about our video game level bucket lists, and the levels we think everyone should play before they keel over. I’m curious to see if you guys like the format of the game first, or if you like it the way it’s been. Let us know!

No podcast will be out next week, since it’s a holiday weekend and all. Which saddens me, as it means we’ll have to wait that much longer before giving our Portal 2 impressions.

So, listen. Then rate. And of course, enjoy. Continue reading The GamerSushi Show, Ep 26: Nintendo Power

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How I Ruined RPGs with the Internet

Gamers come in all sorts of different flavors, and I’m not just talking about casual and hardcore. There are some who don’t play single player, some who only play single player, and then there are the kinds that give game designers of any type nightmares. I think I’m probably in the last category, specifically when it comes to Western RPGs. Given that games in those genres these days have branching stories, multiple conversation outcomes and more hidden bonuses than you can shake a stick it, it tends to drive OCD completionists with a lot of time on their hands (e.g. me) crazy.

That’s when I turn to the most forbidden of texts, the horrible tome know as the “FAQ”. Deep within the dark recesses of the Internet, I find my brethren, people who restart dungeons because they missed one chest after defeating whatever horrible creature inhabits that cave. These are the people who don’t play RPGs for the story or the characters or the experience, but rather to accrue every possible trinket and stat bonus the game has to offer. We can leave no stone unturned, no party companion un-romanced, and we do so by exploiting the game to its maximum. Not through exploration or discovery though, but by distilling it down to the most bare bones, no frills, maximum return type of experience. This is how I’ve come to destroy any Western RPG I’ve played.
Continue reading How I Ruined RPGs with the Internet

The Puzzling Anger of Online Gamers (And Gears of War 3 Beta Impressions, Too)

gears of war 3 beta impressions

Portal 2 is out today as we’re all very, very aware, but there was another release this week that’s been overshadowed a bit by Valve’s behemoth: the Gears of War 3 Beta. I know that we’ve been talking about it a lot here on the site, and thanks to my Epic Edition of Bulletstorm, I got to hop in and try out the multiplayer flavor of Gears of War 3.

So far, I’m really impressed with the Beta. There are, thankfully, few glitches and I can actually get into matches, which is a big improvement over Gears of War 2. The progression from cover based shooting to close in melee combat feels natural, and it’s a real thrill to run your chainsaw through someone’s back when they aren’t expecting it. I’m finding the sawed-off shotgun a little over-powered, but that’s probably because I keep running into it like a moron.

Even though I’m loving the Gears 3 Beta, I ran into the angriest gamer I’ve come across in a long time last night. As I’m usually in a party with whomever I’m playing online with, I don’t get to hear the braying of the masses, but last night I put on my headphones and listened to the fury this man had to offer.

He got mad at me for reviving him, got mad at people for not reviving him, was pissed off that he ran into places with no backup, and made one player quit when he wouldn’t stop telling him that he was worse than a bot. I get that it’s a little frustrating when you’re stuck on a team with a bunch of ineffective players, but I could never fathom getting that angry about a match that’s ten minutes at most.

I wish I had recorded this guy’s outbursts, because they were seriously hilarious. I think that abrasive gamers have passed beyond offensive and into hilarious because we’re so used to the weirdness of the Internet as a whole. Have you guys ever ran across a gamer so angry that it stuck with you? Is anyone playing the Gears of War 3 Beta, and what do you think of it?

The GamerSushi Show, Ep 25: Inspiring Gaming

Here’s Episode 25 of the podcast. Sadly, it was recorded a week ago, which means it doesn’t have any of the juicy discussion about Nintendo’s rumored new console or Valve’s ARG. But do not fret! Those issues are in next week’s podcast.

However, we do cover a host of wonderful topics in this week’s edition of the GamerSushi Show, including our most inspirational games, Sony versus Anonymous and sex in video games. Steamy.

Also, we tried to get through this podcast without making a “nice” joke – so I hope that makes SOME OF YOU happy.

So yeah. Listen up. Rate it. Like it. Continue reading The GamerSushi Show, Ep 25: Inspiring Gaming

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Valve’s Impressive Portal 2 PotatoFools ARG

Portal 2 ARG

Wow. I’ve seen some impressive Alternative Reality Games before (namely, ILoveBees by Bungie leading up to Halo 2), but Valve’s new endeavor, PotatoFools, has certainly taken the cake… no pun intended.

If you’re unaware, Valve launched the Potato Sack pack of indie games on April 1st. It includes 13 games, features a few Portal 2 themed levels for those games and even some Portal 2 content for Team Fortress 2. However, a few users started noticing something weird about the updates for each of the indie games. A little bit of digging turned up a lofty and epic ARG straight from Valve.

I can’t even begin to describe how everything has gone down, so you should check out the PotatoFools ARG thread over on the Steam Forums for the full break down of all the events since April 1st. Needless to say, it’s absurdly impressive. We’re talking cross game clues, passwords, messages from Gabe Newell himself, anonymous e-mails from employees, a special clue hidden on the side of a building in the Netherlands, a surveillance camera watching the forum user that found the clue, secret frames referencing top ARG players in the newest Portal 2 trailers… and that doesn’t begin to scratch the surface.

The point of all of this? Nobody really knows, although speculation right now is that it’s pointing towards an early release of Portal 2 on Steam for this Friday. Who knows if that’s the case, though.

The funny thing is, I happen to be pals with Matt “LordNed” Hoffman, one of the main driving forces behind collecting information for the ARG (you’ll see him referenced in the thread quite a bit). I asked him what the current status is, and he had this to report:

Several ARG administrators are gone. A couple are acting strange, giving cryptic hints that translate about to “Please help she’s killing me”, a POTATO logo was updated to show a figure inside a portal. A whiteboard states that two people are dead, GLADOS took over the wiki and has control over it.

Yikes. So what do you guys think of all this craziness? Has anyone been following it?

Source – Portal 2 ARG thread on the Steam Forums

The GamerSushi Show, Ep 24: Vestchewbacca

Gamers! Listeners! Friends!

Hey.

We’re back this week with Episode 24 of the podcast, which takes place entirely in real time. Sort of. We actually had a lot of technical difficulties with this one, but I think Nick did a great job of lessening the horrors that we faced.

Technical gremlins aside, this week we participate in the same tomfoolery that you’ve experienced from us every week, only this time we talk about Quantic Dream versus Rockstar, Square Enix’s fall into irrelevance, the most annoying fanboys in the world and Mass Effect 2’s Arrival DLC. After that, Nick drops a new game of Either/Or on us, and we hit up the PS3’s sales, Nintendo versus Angry Birds and the new trailers we got last week.

So, there you have it. Check it out. Rate it. Enjoy. Continue reading The GamerSushi Show, Ep 24: Vestchewbacca

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Behind the Scenes of Video Game Journalism

Video games writer

A dream that I’ve had for most of my life has been to get paid to either 1) write for a video game company or 2) write about video games. It combines two of the great loves of my life, which should be obvious from the career choices and their similarities. As such, I always find it fascinating to see behind the curtain a little bit for either career.

In this case, the peek happens to be the life of a video games journalist. Over at Kill Screen, writer Joseph Bernstein recently put up a piece titled Intern Affairs: Behind Closed Doors, which happens to be a series about the time he spent as an intern at GamesRadar. This particular entry covers the world of previews and handshakes between developers and journalists, and it’s actually kind of fascinating to see how the sausage is made, so to speak.

Bernstein basically shows the way previews are handled in some cases, and the gang mentality that occurs because of that as developers try to win you over. In the end, Bernstein even posts the preview he wrote as the result of this encounter, which happened to be for the game MX vs. ATV: Untamed for the Wii. I don’t think it necessarily exposes anything shady or surprising, I just find it interesting.

So what do you guys think after reading this? Does it jade you a little to what goes on behind the scenes at some video game sites? Go!

Source – Kill Screen, Image Source – PlatformNation

Top Six: Video Game Characters We Wish Would Talk

Since the advent of the full voiced protagonist, I’ve come to expect that my in-game avatar always has something witty to say in any given situation. Despite the fact that characters like Grayson Hunt and Duke Nukem want to make me tear my hair out, there are a few protagonists in gaming that have successfully made the transition to having a personality, like Dead Space’s Isaac Clarke.

This got me thinking about a few other notoriously silent gaming icons, and which ones could stand to have a voice. Read on to see which six characters deserve a line of dialog here and there. Continue reading Top Six: Video Game Characters We Wish Would Talk

Impressions: Eddy Plays a Nintendo 3DS

3D Hurt Eyes

The above image may or may not have happened. It’s mostly for the lulz.

So I finally got to see a 3DS up close and personal. I’ve honestly been excited about this since the handheld was first announced last year. It’s kind of weird to me that Nintendo keeps putting out trailers for it, because it’s really one of those things that can only be evaluated firsthand. During my trip to Best Buy yesterday to purchase Evangelion 2.22 (woot), I got my chance. Continue reading Impressions: Eddy Plays a Nintendo 3DS

The GamerSushi Show, Ep 23: The Land Down Over/Under

And we’re back, fellow gamers. It’s been a couple of weeks because a certain bearded somebody forgot that Thursdays are our podcast nights, and decided to go out and have a life instead. However, everything is back to normal, and now a brand new podcast is out for your enjoyment.

In this episode of our gaming ramblings, we chat about a few new games in more detail, such as Dragon Age 2 and Crysis 2. We also tackle an awesome game of Over/Under, in which Nick has us guess on Metacritic scores for upcoming games. It’s seriously one of my favorite games we play, and I think the results in this one are pretty awesome.

So, here are the topics for this week’s podcast. Thanks to Nick’s efforts, we thought we’d try something different and list the time stamps for each thing in the podcast. Hopefully that’ll make it easier if there are certain topics you want to hear about.

Listen. Rate. ♥. Continue reading The GamerSushi Show, Ep 23: The Land Down Over/Under

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GameCop Vs LameCop Vs PsychoCop: Fanboy Edition!

Our favorite men in blue are back, eager to bring gaming justice to a spattering of industry-related topics from the last few weeks: Nintendo’s stance against indie developers, Sony’s subpoenas and Microsoft’s On Demand pricing.

I’m sure you know the rules by now, but just in case you don’t: GameCop is a sensible gamer, looking out for your best interests. LameCop is your average forum troll, causing havoc for the lulz, while PsychoCop should be locked up for everyone’s safety.

Keep reading to find out what they have to say on these issues:

Continue reading GameCop Vs LameCop Vs PsychoCop: Fanboy Edition!