Category: Humor

How to Write a Video Game Review

The wide world of video game reviews is a tricky business, one that we here at GamerSushi have not figured out. Clearly, we are doing something wrong when it comes to how we handle the beloved AAA franchises upon release, because we aren’t making buttloads of money and getting free video games. Perhaps it’s because we don’t give everything the standard 9.0 that seems to come along with being labeled a credible outlet. We will not name names, though.

Anyway, we thought we’d create a list of helpful tips for how to write a video game review, the industry way. And before you ask- yes, this post is for the lulz, as they say in some Eastern European countries.

So here it is. How to write a video game review: Continue reading How to Write a Video Game Review

Today’s Hilarity: Total War: Shogun 2 Has Ninja Fails

I don’t know how many of our readers are currently playing the new Total War game Shogun 2, but I had a chance to see it in action over the last weekend and I thought it looked really cool. It is the epitome of hard-core PC strategy gaming with its giant, micro-manageable battles and the complicated over-world. Since the game is based in Japan, you have access to a few unique units such as the ninja, which can be sent into enemy camps to assassinate opposing Shoguns and give you a bit of breathing room. They’re not always successful, and they sometimes fail…hard. Total War: Shogun 2 actually treats you to a vignette of your ninja’s shameful display, and they’re really quite funny. Have a look!

Being a ninja is not for everybody, it seems. I think it’s pretty neat that the developer would include a little Easter egg like this. Is anyone playing Total War: Shogun 2, and what do you think? Does this video pique your interest?

The GamerSushi Show, Ep 22: The Hangover

The funny thing about the banner image on the front page is that we thought about Photoshopping our faces on the characters of The Hangover, but then realized we could leave Nick’s the same. Think about it.

So how do we all hold up after a couple of weeks to reflect and regret our actions in the last podcast? Pretty good, actually. Episode 22 of the podcast is all about Dragon Age 2, Infinity Blade, Radiant Historia and other gaming goodness. Apparently we were focused on RPG’s when we did this. “Nice.”

After those initial topics, Nick drops a game of fill in the blank on us. As always, my exceptional vocabulary and clever word play propelled me ahead of my opponents and secured my victory. So be ready for that.

Alright, victory celebrations aside, here’s the podcast. Listen. Rate. Enjoy.
Continue reading The GamerSushi Show, Ep 22: The Hangover

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First Person Mario Takes No Prisoners

This sort of thing has been done to death, but Freddie Wong’s take on a First Person Super Mario incorporates some Call of Duty tropes that make it worth while. Once I saw the first experience bonus pop up, I totally dug the rest of the video.

Pretty great, no? Freddie Wong has made some neat stuff in the past, but I think this is my current favorite. What about you guys?

DICE Calls Out Competitors

Battlefield 3

I think this is when junk, in a very official capacity, “gets real”.

Apparently one of the bigger trends in the industry these days is for game developers to call out other game developers in a no holds barred type of way, causing the blogosphere to erupt in a collective chorus of “oh snap”. The most recent edition of this would have to be Battlefield 3 wranglers DICE, who in the upcoming issue of the Official Playstation Magazine has dropped notice to its competitors.

Here’s what general manager of DICE Karl-Magnus Troedsson (or should it be Trollson?) had to say.

Our competitors are getting lazy. They’re using the same engine, the same recipe for building a game. At some point you need to take that leap. I haven’t seen them take that leap since a long time ago. We are doing that now. They had better watch out. We are coming for them.

This seems specifically aimed at Call of Duty, which is everyone’s favorite target these days. While it makes for a funny quote, I don’t think anybody is going to knock Activision’s shooter off of its sales throne anytime soon. Honestly, my attitude toward this kind of statement is that I wish guys would just be quiet and make awesome games.

What do you guys think about stuff like this? Are you rooting for DICE and Battlefield 3? Do you want them to keep their mouths shut? Go!

Source – CVG

Get Existential With The Fantastic Mr. StarFox

I’m sure we’re a couple days behind everyone else on this, but forgive us, as real life was calling (OK, Dragon Age 2). I’ve never been a fan of Wes Andersen’s work, but I do think that the subject matter of his films are ripe for parody. If you’ve seen The Fantastic Mr. Fox, or just have an appreciation for random StarFox quotes, you’ll love this.

The GamerSushi Show, Ep 21: Drunk Cast

Urgh. This is the episode of the podcast where we decided to play a drinking game in honor of our 21st birthday together, so to speak. The results are either brilliant or completely inaudible. For real. You may excuse yourself from this if you don’t want to hear us all embarrass ourselves. Especially me.

Along with the drinking game we play (shots every fifteen minutes plus drinks for podcast memes), we also chat about Skyrim, marrying video games, Battlefield 3, Bulletstorm, goats and donkeys, the Dragon Age 2 demo and difficulty in games. Nick also takes time away from slamming beer and whiskey to deliver a brand new game of grades. The results are not very pretty, but probably hilarious to listen to.

So yeah. Hopefully you don’t hate us after this.

Alright, warnings aside, here’s the podcast. Listen. Rate. Enjoy.

Continue reading The GamerSushi Show, Ep 21: Drunk Cast

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The GamerSushi Show, Ep 20: Hype Machines

Welcome to Episode 20 of the podcast, this time with bigger explosions, more sadness and lots of terrible burns. Mitch is absent for part of this cast, although Jeff is back. But worry not, for the fellowship will be re-united tonight when we record Episode 21 of the podcast, complete with drinking games.

In this podcast, we tackle a number of gaming issues, including the ridiculously good Dead Island trailer (and all they have to live up to), replaying classic video games and ten year console cycles. Nick also hits us with a mathematically stimulating game of percentages which has us battle about Marvel Vs Capcom 3, Video Games at the Smithsonian, and Bungie’s Space MMO. We also chat about Mega Ran’s Black Materia, the FFVII hip hop tribute which is seriously incredible stuff. I may post about it separately later, but for real, check it out if you love either hip hop or the FFVII soundtrack.

So, without further ado, here’s the podcast. Listen. Rate. Enjoy.

Continue reading The GamerSushi Show, Ep 20: Hype Machines

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Minecraft: The Last Minecart Gets Real

Minecraft mania swept the Internet a few months ago, and we went right along with it. We posted every cool video about the Enterprise or a mine cart interstate, so I understand if you’re a bit Minecraft weary. This video that I’m posting, though, is a different sort of Minecraft fan-film. Instead of showing off a crazy mega structure in-game, two dudes took the setting of Minecraft and turned it into an ass-kicking throw down.

I think this is pretty awesome, and the panoramic shot at the beginning showing off a Minecraft like terrain really sold it for me. So, did you guys like the video?

The GamerSushi Show, Ep 19: Axed

We have to be setting some kind of record for ourselves now with multiple weeks of podcasting in a row. Why someone hasn’t given us an achievement or a multiplier score for these consecutive releases is still a puzzle to me, but that’s another strike against life in the ongoing debate of life vs. video games. You hear that, life? Get your act together.

Episode 19 of the podcast is yet another one without our kindly old Web master Jeff James, and I think the podcast shines because of it. OK, not really, that was kind of mean. Anyway, this podcast had a number of technical issues which I doubt you’ll notice thanks to Nick’s editing, but it’s just another symptom of trying to do a podcast with people that live all over the continental U.S. and beyond.

While there wasn’t much actual news for us to dive into, we still covered a healthy array of topics, including video game soundtracks, Dead Space 2’s hardcore mode, Mass Effect 3’s new composer, Magicka and more. Nick also drops in with a game of Either/Or that produces some humorous conversation. Go Beard!

Anyway, check out the podcast. Listen. Rate. Enjoy. We all know how this goes. Continue reading The GamerSushi Show, Ep 19: Axed

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Rémi Gaillard Does Mario Kart IRL

If you’ve never heard of Rémi Gaillard, it’s time to educate yourself, fool. This guy is a French (and we all know that GamerSushi loves the French) improv artist who takes to the streets with various props and costumes and harasses people. While Mr. Gaillard has done the Mario Kart bit before, he once again hit the road in blue coveralls and a go-kart and the result is nothing short of hilarious. Go ahead and watch:

Don’t worry, no actual turtles were harmed in the making of this video, but I’m pretty sure that policeman had his feelings hurt. Hope you enjoyed this goofy little video on your Friday afternoon!

The GamerSushi Show, Ep 18: The Jam of War

Here’s the podcast. You know the drill.

The podcast is all grown’s up this week now that we’re on episode 18, so it’s legal. Jeff had to skip out on this podcast because he hates us, or was busy, I don’t really remember which. We recorded this last week, so our topics reflect that. We chat about broken systems, gaming innovation, Killzone 3 and more. Check out the list of topics below. Nick also brings us a game of fill in the blank, where I curb stomp the competition the way I always do in these affairs.

Give it a listen and please rate the podcast on iTunes as well. Continue reading The GamerSushi Show, Ep 18: The Jam of War

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Gaming: No Country for Funny Men

Portal 2

On top of being innovative and addictive from start to finish, one of the things that I loved about Portal was that it was devilishly clever to boot. This didn’t just stop at its gameplay, but carried over to its script, which was genuinely funny. As much as I can’t wait to see more of Aperture and its insane puzzles, one of the things that I’m dying for in Portal 2 is the sidesplitting humor that came from the writers at Valve.

Oddly enough, it’s not that often that we get to play funny games these days. That might sound strange, but it becomes more noticeable when you play games that actually make you laugh. Games like RDR: Undead Nightmare or Secret of Monkey Island. So why aren’t more games funny? One of the great legends of game comedy himself, Tim Schafer, has an idea.
Continue reading Gaming: No Country for Funny Men

Top Six: Things Gamers Said They Wanted But Didn’t

Gamers are a greedy, fickle bunch, and we love nothing more than having our cake and eating it too. For every developer or publisher that tries to please us by making a fan-service game or getting sequels out faster, there’s thousands of gamers who will flock to the forums decrying the release dates and the addition of rainbows.

While gamer hypocrisy has been on the rise for a long time, it’s reached a critical mass within the last few years. Come inside and take a journey as we discover the top six things gamers said they really wanted, but actually didn’t.
Continue reading Top Six: Things Gamers Said They Wanted But Didn’t

Fill in the Squares with Modern Gamedev Bingo

Bingo Balls

Ever feel like you just see the same things in video games over and over? Apparently you’re not the only one. Whether it’s FPS number 127 of a given year, the same voice actors/actresses or a similar bald male protagonist, sometimes gaming tropes get more than a bit tiring.

A new post over at I Get Your Fail takes all the cliches from video game development and turns them into a game in their own right, with Modern Gamedev Bingo. I have to say, it’s a pretty funny collection of gaming jabs, and it makes me want to do this for some of the games I’m currently playing. In particular, I like the squares for “realistic color palette”, “story based on war” and “has zombies/nazis”.

As funny as the whole thing is, it’s also a bit depressing to think that so many modern games can be summed up so succinctly. What do you guys think of this bingo board? Do you guys think these cliches are necessarily bad things? Go!

Source – I Get Your Fail

The GamerSushi Show, Ep 17: “Sup, Bitches?”

It’s a new edition of the GamerSushi Show, ladies and gents. While 17 is not a very special number to celebrate (except for dog lovers in Canada, apparently), we’re still happy to be releasing these podcasts every week, despite our general apathy towards doing things. And really, that’s an achievement in and of itself.

In the not-so-remarkable-but-still-excellent 17th episode, we chat about a number of gaming topics, including: Sony’s NGP, Dead Space 2, Bulletstorm, Crysis 2 and Game Dev Story. We also play a whopping two games this week instead of the usual one from our friendly beard. This week, Anthony drops in with a game where we guess about a classic review. Likewise, Nick gives us a game of Grades, where we rate industry happenings. We also talk about the Social Network at some point in there, I think, unless it got cut by Nick’s merciless editing.

Anyway, give it a listen and please rate the podcast on iTunes as well. Continue reading The GamerSushi Show, Ep 17: “Sup, Bitches?”

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NBC’s Life Trolls Video Gamers

There’s a video making its rounds on the Internet right now from a TV show called “Life”, a police procedural about a detective who was sent to jail for a crime he didn’t commit, that centers around an incredibly off-base interpretation of Prince of Persia: The Two Thrones and video games in general. While the video shows many falsehoods based around the game itself, perhaps the most egregious offense it makes is the depiction of gamers as 30-somethings who live with their moms and have Captain Kirk outfits. Seriously, watch this and try not to have an aneurysm.

Have you ever owned a game so hard it spits out spreadsheets of your drug deals? I know I haven’t. I know this is a TV show, but come on people, there’s no way you could get away with being this off base with anything else besides video games. If you want to see a blow-by-blow of what Life did wrong, check out the post on Geekosystem, where the author clearly had a bit of nerd-rage. Any opinion on this most egregious interpretation of our hobby? It’s almost as insulting as the Video Game Awards. Fire away!

Today’s WTF: Pac-Man: The Reality Show

Pac Man TV show

Yes, this is real. No, I am not laughing. OK, maybe a little.

I’ll bet when you think of Pac-Man chasing some ghosts around a little light maze full of strange pellets, you never thought that someone would try to turn that already ridiculous concept into an even more ridiculous reality TV show. According to Deadline, Merv Griffin Entertainment is trying to do just that. They are teaming up with Namco to produce this no doubt amazing TV revolution.

Says Roy Bank, Merv Griffin’s TV president:

The idea we have is to take what Pac-Man is and bring it to life, to bring what is essentially the world’s biggest game of tag to television.

I see no idea how this could possibly be anything other but awesome. What say you?

Source – Deadline

GamerSushi Asks: Questing for Games?

9 hours 9 persons 9 doors

One of the quirkier things about me is that I occasionally become laser-focused and obsessed on things. Actually, this happens all the time. All of my attention will go to one thing, much like the eye of Sauron, and I will be transfixed upon it until there is some kind of resolution.

Yesterday, Anthony directed my attention to a Nintendo DS game I hadn’t heard of before, called 9 Hours, 9 Persons, 9 Doors (or 999 for short). The game is getting rave reviews, and if it can be likened to anything at all, it would be something akin to Heavy Rain. Basically, you wake up on a freighter, and you have 9 hours to solve a mystery. If you fail, you blow up. If you try to leave, you blow up. Your decisions will cause people to die (including you), and there are multiple endings and paths to figuring everything out.

As a result of reading about this game, I’ve become terribly fixated on it. I’ve basically looked at several Gamestops in my area and near work to try and find this thing used, with no luck. Only two of them even had a new copy near me, and when I went to one of them, they couldn’t actually find it. So I’m considering heading to the other store several miles away to grab it. Yes, I’m aware GameStop has a locator on their site, but so far that has lead me astray many times with other games.

I did this one other time when I searched all over Houston to buy a Dreamcast for $15 several years back, but maybe I’m crazy. My question is: have you guys ever gone on absurd quests like this for games? And have any of you heard of 999?

The 2010 Sushis: A Year Honored and Belittled

If everyone else gets to make “Best of the Year” lists, then by golly, so do we. Only, instead of the trite awards that every other site dishes out, we try to be a bit more creative with our end of year awards, bestowing unique honors that bring both shame and glory. That’s right: it’s time again for the annual Sushi Awards.

For those with a keen memory (or that know how to use our search bar), you’ll recall that we did this for 2009 and 2008 as well, so feel free to go over those to remember how awesome those years were, prior to this one.

As with those previous entries, keep in mind that the Sushi awards represent our goofy and snarky take on the year in gaming, for better or worse, chosen by the GS dudes. A proper “best of” top 10 list is coming next week. But for now, enjoy these custom awards and tell us what you think!

Enjoy!

Continue reading The 2010 Sushis: A Year Honored and Belittled