Category: Humor

Gamestradamus Predicts: The Nintendo 3DS

A couple of years back, we did a feature about the Gaming Fortune Teller, in which we interviewed Gamestradamus, who sees into the beyond when it comes to the future of gaming. He is blessed with a unique ability to see gaming events before they happen. Rumor has it that he ran into Bobby Kotick when Bobby was but a wee lad, and saw the dollar signs in his eyes even then.

Unsurprisingly, Gamestradamus was accurate in most of the predictions he made two years ago about motion control and Bungie, so we thought we’d pay him another visit this week. Specifically, we wanted to get some insight into his knowledge about the Nintendo 3DS, Nintendo’s new 3D handheld with unprecedented 3rd party support and a huge offering of classic games we know and love. Continue reading Gamestradamus Predicts: The Nintendo 3DS

GamerSushi Asks: Halloween Costumes?

Bioshock 2 Halloween costume

Trick-or-treat, GamerSushi dudes and ladies. Since it’s officially Halloween, and I’m answering the door for screaming hooligans that want candy, I thought I’d stop in to ask you guys about the day of scares and pumpkins.

Myself, I just played NBA2K11 all day, and it’s seriously one of the best sports games of this generation. It’s definitely some of the most fun I’ve had playing a basketball game, and yes, that includes the boom-shaka-laka NBA Jam days of old. In terms of Halloween festivities, last night I helped carve a pumpkin (and by that I mean I watched someone do it), and later tonight I plan on watching the junk out of Walking Dead. However, Friday was the Halloween highlight of the weekend, seeing as how I won a costume contest at work by dressing like Bob the consultant from Office Space. I’m not always a huge costume guy, but that one was a fun one that got a lot of laughs. I only wish I could grow a mustache like that.

What about you guys? Did any of you have any awesome Halloween costumes this year? See any awesome video game related ones? What did you guys do for Halloween? Go!

Gaming Pop Quiz, Halloween Edition

Well gents, today is Halloween, which means that we’re back with a brand new edition of Gaming Pop Quiz, this time all about the genre of horror games and all of the frights therein.

If I’m being honest, I haven’t always the biggest fan of horror games, but I can remember some truly terrifying moments in games that I’ve loved. Whether it was the Berserker battle in Gears of War or hearing that Tank music cue in Left 4 Dead, there’s nothing quite like the thrill of a truly scary event that smacks you in the face while you play. And sometimes, the scariest games of all have nothing jumping out at you and announcing how frightening it is, but rather are dark and moody and full of something sinister, such as Myst or Limbo.

Anyway, I’m setting all of this up to give you a few awesome questions, naturally. As always with our getting-to-know-you type games, feel free to answer with as much or as little as you like. Answer to the best of your ability. Go! Continue reading Gaming Pop Quiz, Halloween Edition

GamerSushi Top Six: Gaming’s Greatest Inventions

As we move along from one generation to the next, it is becoming more rare to see brand new gameplay inventions in the wild. Some of this is simply logical: as games progress, new gameplay is more likely adapted from an old system or refined over time with small tweaks rather than birthed anew.

However, on the flip side, one could make the argument that developers have just gotten lazier over time. Part of this is because of deadlines and sticking with what’s easy, and part of this is put on them by their bosses, who steal their princesses (Bowser style), and force them to put out whatever clone happens to be selling.

Issues like this are never completely cut and dry, but one thing that we can say for certain is that when you experience great gameplay inventions, it crushes your face like a Mike Tyson uppercut, announcing that it has arrived in a way that you can’t miss. Either because it truly defines a title or is simply copied by everyone else, good gameplay is a bit infectious, and tends to have some staying power. Because it’s, well, good.

So, in thinking about great gameplay, I thought I’d come up with a list of gaming’s greatest inventions. Continue reading GamerSushi Top Six: Gaming’s Greatest Inventions

Today’s WTF: Gran Turismo 5 Honcho Asks Players for Frame Rate Forgiveness

Gran Turismo 5

Oh, Kaz Yamauchi. I know it seems tough for you right now, with Polyphony Digital under the gun for the many Gran Turismo 5 delays. But soon, soon the game will be out (holiday season 2010, maybe?), it will be incredible as always, and all of this silliness will be behind you. Right? Maybe not.

Apparently, Gran Turismo 5 is having some frame rate issues these days. While the team at Polyphony Digital worked hard to ensure that the powerhouse racing simulator ran at a smooth 60 fps at 1080p, it doesn’t seem that this is always the case. And because of that, Yamauchi wants your forgiveness.

Check out the quote from Yamauchi himself, after the jump. Continue reading Today’s WTF: Gran Turismo 5 Honcho Asks Players for Frame Rate Forgiveness

Minecraft Combines With Portal for a Delicious Video

Crazy Minecraft videos are kind of becoming all the rage here at GamerSushi, and really, can you blame us? The game, which basically plonks you down on a random map and goes “have fun”, has inspiried more crazy creations than any other title I can remember. This may be Minecraft’s refusal to guide your hand and leave most players to their devices, but it could just be that inside all of us is some crazy megalomaniac builder waiting to be let free. Just take this most recent example where YouTuber kopierjunge made a Portal game inside Minecraft. Madness!

I also give props to this guy for not including any cake jokes. I hope none of you are getting sick of funny or wild Minecraft videos, becuase I’m certainly not. Just think, if someone can make Portal in Minecraft, how far away are we from other ports? Halo? Civilization? Just think of the possibilities. What game would you like to see emulated in Minecraft?

The GamerSushi Show, Ep 10: Percentify

PercentWhat’s that? Two podcasts in one month? Welcome to generosity. Or just bored dudes with too much time on their hands. Either way, you get more podcast goodness. In this edition of the GamerSushi podcast, we chat about iPhone gaming, Castlevania: Lords of Shadow, Dead Rising 2, the 25th anniversary of the NES and play a hilarious game of percentages, hosted by the bearded one himself.

The exciting thing about this podcast and the last one for us is that we finally feel like we’re getting closer to figuring out the best format for what we do, and could maybe turn this into a weekly venture with some more practice and a few tweaks. I’m digging the “over/under” and “percentage” type games, and hope you find them just as enjoyable.

As always, please go rate this cast on iTunes and subscribe with the handy links to the right. Enjoy!

Continue reading The GamerSushi Show, Ep 10: Percentify

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GamerSushi Asks: Insane Gaming Stories?

Minecraft

Epic multiplayer matches. Horrid save fails. Ridiculous things that you pulled off, wishing someone had been there to witness what could have been a storied feat. We all have those ridiculous gaming stories, things that defy explanation, logic or just happen to be worth their weight in lulz.

I find that these most often take the best shape in either sandbox games or in multiplayer. Exhibit A: my Halo: Reach Killtrocity from a few weeks ago is something I’m quite proud of, in the nerdiest way possible (you’ll notice several GamerSushi editors being dominated). In terms of other stories, I’m finding that Minecraft seems to produce them from everybody that I talk to. It’s just one of those games where the unthinkable happens. For instance, my friend was playing and mined underground so long that he got lost from his spawn point. When he dug his way back to the surface and found that the sun was setting, he hurriedly pulled his compass and accidentally threw it into the ocean. He never found his way back home, died, and lost all of his stuff. It happens.

Hearing all of these hilarious things lately made me wonder what the deal was with you guys. So, what are some of your favorite gaming stories? Feel free to share!

Image by Janitor.Master

What if Retro Games had Achievements?

While there are naysayers in the gaming world about the advent of achievements and trophies, I’ve fervently maintained that they send us back to a simpler and more community-oriented time in gaming. The era of high scores is something that was lost as games migrated from the coin-op to the couch or computer chair, left behind as some kind of relic in the arcade graveyards. What I’ve loved about achievements and trophies is that they feel like a return to that mindset of gaming gone by.

On top of that, I just like seeing where my friends are in the games they’re playing, and vice versa. It’s like displaying your marvelous feats of gaming for your friends to see – not so much for the e-peen factor (as many of its detractors claim), but for conversation and joining in on the shared experience and joy that only gaming can bring.

How awesome would it have been for your friends to see that you completed Super Mario Bros. 3 without the fabled whistle? Or that you located Cloud and Aeris in Final Fantasy Tactics? Or that you can beat Metal Gear Solid in under 2 and a half hours if you skip cut scenes (I swear, it can be done)? The idea that someone could look at one unified profile and see everything I’ve done in games would be incredible. This is sadly not possible, but it got us thinking: what if classic games had achievements?

It might look a bit like this: Continue reading What if Retro Games had Achievements?

Dear Hollywood: 5 Tips to Prevent a Lame Myst Movie

Myst coverAs you’ve no doubt heard by now, Myst, one of the most beloved and revered adventure game series of all time, has been optioned to be turned into a full length motion picture. While the content of the movie is no doubt up in the air at the moment, people have been taking shots at Myst and other video game properties for years now, hoping to stick some kind of tap into that overflowing font of money-making wizardry.

Here’s the problem: it’s no great secret that many video game movie adaptations are reviled by even some of their most beloved franchise fans. I’m not going to say that all video game movies are flat out bad by any stretch, but if we’re being honest, there is always plenty lost in translation between the monitor and the silver screen. Heck, just ask Mark Wahlberg. Or the Rock. Or Jake Try-To-Spell-My-Name-Without-Using-IMDB Gyllenhaal.

Looking around on the tubes, I’m seeing a considerable amount of concern out there for the Myst movie, with fans like myself wondering how it can even be portrayed in a way that works, and deservedly so. So, we thought we’d put together a list of things that will help Hollywood, and more specifically Mysteria Film Group, keep the Myst movie from suffering the fate of many other less than well-received adaptations.

Here are 5 tips to prevent a lame Myst movie: Continue reading Dear Hollywood: 5 Tips to Prevent a Lame Myst Movie

GamerSushi Asks: Favorite Video Game Urban Legends?

Sheng Long Street FighterThe Tomb Raider Nude Code. Sheng Long in Street Fighter II. Savvy gamers instantly smile or roll their eyes upon hearing these phrases because we know what they are: lies. Dirty, shameless lies. Whether we were once fooled by them in our more naive days or we pulled the figurative wool over our friends eyes for a laugh, these myths have persisted throughout the years, like a digital Sasquatch.

So coming across this list from 1UP detailing the most famous video game urban legends, I was hit with a wave of nostalgia and a sudden fit of laughter. My personal tale involves a foolish friend who did all manner of insane things in Final Fantasy VII in a vain effort to bring Aeris back. Things such as accumulate 100,000 GP in the Gold Saucer and steal from a Tonberry 100 times in one battle. Where did this poor sap get this idiotic notion? Why, from me, of course! Man, was he mad!

Which myths on the list did you fall for? Have you ever played a trick on a friend in such a devious manner? GO!

Source: 1UP

GamerSushi Asks: Real Life Video Game Power-Ups?

Mario Fire Flower

Power ups are some of my favorite things created by game developers. Sure, they often take the form of nonsensical things, but what better way to mix up the gameplay in a stale title than to let your hero do something completely out of the norm, whether it be a special spin attack after eating pizza a la the TMNT arcade games or getting the Tanooki suit in Super Mario Bros. 3. Personally, some of my favorite power-ups include quad damage from the Quake series, as well as the Donkey Kong hammer in Super Smash Bros.

But what if we could have power-ups apart from gaming? That’s the question Filefront is asking in one of their recent features, 10 Greatest Game Power-Ups to Have in Real Life, and I found it quite entertaining. They cover everything from Pay n’ Sprays in GTA to skill books from Elder Scrolls. The number one is a bit obvious, but no less desirable. A few notable misses would include the speed shoes from Sonic and the star from Super Mario Bros., because who wouldn’t want to be invincible?

Which video game power-ups are your favorite, and which would you prefer to have in real life? Go!

Source – Filefront

Duke Nukem Forever Live Video Takes the Piss Out of Gaming

Duke Nukem Forever, shown in its resurgent form at PAX 2010 thanks to Gearbox Software, is finally gaining some momentum and is actually coming to home systems next year. The game has only been shown behind closed doors so far, but plenty of off-screen footage has been taken. This most recent video, taken at the Firstlook gaming convention in Amsterdam, shows that the humor that was prevalent in the series back in the day is still permeating the title. Whether or not people still find this stuff funny is up for debate, but I thought I’d post the video anyways since I know a bunch of you are jonesing hard for this one. The game actually starts going at two minutes in if you want to skip Randy Pitchford’s pontificating.

I’ll admit that the game itself actually looks pretty good, and the fight against the giant alien is pretty intense (who doesn’t use God Mode at demos?), but the attempts at toilet humor just didn’t do it for me. Also, when someone is urinating, can’t you typically see their equipment? Methinks Duke might be compensating. As always, we’d love to know what you guys think about this new video. Do you bet on Duke, or was this video not doing it for you? Are you maybe dreading the inevitable destruction of the world that will prevent this game from ever coming out? Go!

The GamerSushi Show, Ep 9: Reach-Cast and Fall Gaming

Halo: ReachThe GamerSushi podcast is back with your regularly scheduled programming, and this time the main portion is a helping of Halo: Reach with a side of fall gaming. In this episode, we take a look at the big Bungie title and then do a rundown of all of the other titles we’re anxious to play in the coming months, plus we predict scores for some of the bigger names in a new, awesome segment. Throw in some community topics and the Nintendo 3DS, and you’ve got yourself a mighty podcast.

If I’m being honest, I think this is probably our best episode yet. We didn’t run into any technical difficulties, and I think we’ve finally nailed down a format for discussion that keeps things moving from topic to topic easily. But then again, I should just let you be the judge, since I’m biased.

As always, please go rate this cast on iTunes and subscribe with the handy links to the right. Enjoy!

Continue reading The GamerSushi Show, Ep 9: Reach-Cast and Fall Gaming

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Zombies in Video Games: A Look Back

Zombies have taken over GamerSushi! As Eddy mentioned, a lot of people are getting zombie fatigue, but GamePro was nice enough to take a look back at a history of zombies in video games throughout the years and it’s quite a nice way to get back into the undead spirit.

Personally, Dry Bones from Super Mario Bros 3 didn’t strike me as a zombie, but since they included him, I can’t help but agree. Which leads me to wonder why some Koopa Troopas rise from their graves to torment Mario again and some don’t. Maybe Magikoopa brings them back? Also, Zombies Ate My Neighbors was the bomb back in the SNES days.

Anyway, head here to check out the feature. And don’t act snooty because you know you love zombies, too.

Source: GamePro

Things We Need More of in Gaming

Inspired by yesterday’s post about gaming pet peeves, I’ve been trying to turn that painbow into a rainbow (hooray for Leet World references) and put a positive spin on it. What are some great things I’ve loved about games that are missing nowadays? In an age where all genres are gradually being narrowed into the same thing and folks like me are getting shooter-overload, you’d be surprised at how much good has gone lost from those lovable pieces of old.

Over the last few months, I’ve done and experienced things in games that reminded me of the way things used to be. With titles like Limbo, Guardian of Light, and yes, even Halo: Reach, I was hit with time transportation beams and sent back to remember things that I had not thought about in years. I guess you can say it was like getting an itch scratched that I didn’t even know I had. And once it happened, it felt damn good.

So, here are things we need more of in gaming.
Continue reading Things We Need More of in Gaming

Dance Fortress 2 Busts a Move

This is sort of a week for excellent dance-themed machinima, it seems. First we get the sublime krogan dance off in the form of Mass Effect 2’s Dance Dance Redemption, and now we have Dance Fortress 2. This little beauty of a video was made by a talented man who goes by the name of James Benson. This project started two months ago, and the culmination of his efforts can be seen below. This was apparently made as a resume to Valve, so best of luck to you, Mr. Benson.

Mass Effect 2 Machinima: Dance Dance Retribution

Oh man, it’s not very often that a machinima piece makes me laugh these days, but then again, most pieces aren’t named Dance Dance Retribution. Nor do they feature two Krogans from Mass Effect 2 dancing. This is a piece created by Blue Suns for the 48 hour machinima contest that was featured in Fantastic Fest this past weekend in Austin, Texas. I kept hearing good things about it, so I just had to post on it.

Really, there’s not much else to say other than that it follows the tale of a Krogan seeking extreme justice through extreme dance moves. And it’s hilarious. Give it a watch.

Best of all? It was co-created by a SmoothFewFilms fan that goes by the handle of Gassy Mexican. Great job, man!

GamerSushi Asks: Things You Hate in Gaming?

Fetch Quest

I don’t generally consider myself a picky gamer, but when something taps into one of my pet peeves, I obsess about it until I go into a fit of epileptic nerd shakes. This list includes some of the following: mess-up-once-and-you’re-done-gameplay, artificially lengthening a game through menial tasks such as fetch quests, not being able to pause or skip long cut scenes, and one of my all time favorites, terrible friendly AI. OK, it’s not actually my favorite. It’s called facetiousism and I just made it up.

On the topic of things that suck in games, GamesRadar has entered the conversation with a hilarious feature titled Things I’m Sick of Games Making Me Do. I totally agree with nearly everything on the list (except climbing, which I can never get enough of), and the last one actually packed quite a lulz-punch, if you know what that means.

So what things do you guys hate in gaming? Go!

Source – GamesRadar

Crazy Dude Building USS Enterprise in Minecraft

I don’t even really know what to say about this, because it’s just one of those crazy things that makes you rethink your life and all the ways you’ve used or wasted it over the years. I won’t lie, when it comes to video games, I have wasted many hours. I’ve thrown marbles down hills in Oblivion. I’ve looked at a girl Spartan’s butt in Halo: Reach. These are things I’ve spent time doing. But I’ve never done anything like this guy.

Apparently, Minecraft nut “halnicholas” has been working hard to construct a 1:1 scale replica of the USS Enterprise NCC-1701-D from Star Trek: The Next Generation in said crafting game. He’s got the framework done, and is looking for skillful trekkies and builders alike to come and help him finish the fight. Wait, I’m mixing sci-fis here.

Anyway, this is certifiably insane and awesome all at once.

Also, is it wrong that this makes me want to play Minecraft even more?