Category: Humor

Proof That the Dance Command Can Go With Anything

Blizzard sure loves to slip little jokes into their games, and StarCraft 2 is no exception. I’m making my way through the campaign at the moment and I’ve already spotted a few, such as the Night Elf dancing in the cantina and the Metroid cameo. One of Blizzard’s other successful games, World of Warcraft (you may have heard of it) features a fun little command called /dance where you can make your in-game avatar do a few slick moves depending on your species. Looks like the company’s sci-fi RTS isn’t immune either. The marines are jacked up and good to go, and some user captured them doing their routine:

Pretty hilarious, and very in keeping with Blizzard’s sense of humor. Like I mentioned, I’m making my way through the single-player game and I’m finding it solid so far, even if the mission designs are a little vanilla. How about you guys? What’s your StarCraft experience like so far?

Chrono Cross Game Blog Part I: Clubbing Komodo Dragons

Okay, time to get serious about this. Chrono Cross, the sequel to Chrono Trigger, released on the PS1 ten years ago, which is exactly how long it has been since I played it. My impressions back then were that it was a great RPG, but a poor sequel to Chrono Trigger, one of the greatest games of all time. Let’s see how I feel about it a decade later.

First off, in the olden days, the X button was cancel and the O button was confirm. Just starting a new game is a trial of my patience, one I seem to be losing by the amount of spittle I am forced to wipe from the TV screen by the time I actually get things going. Oh, thank God, there is an option to change the configuration. I thought I was going to have to kill myself. Also, no using the analog stick here, which is another source of frustration. You know, they made the past seem so quaint in Back to the Future, but the reality is much more abrasive. Like a cheese grater to my testicles.
Continue reading Chrono Cross Game Blog Part I: Clubbing Komodo Dragons

The GamerSushi Show, Ep 6: Fresh Coat of Free

Alien SwarmIt’s really hard to believe that we’re now on podcast number 6, but we’re back this week with a brand new edition The GamerSushi Show, ready for your ears and scrutiny. You’ll notice a couple of things that are different in this episode, namely the awesome new theme song that Jace Ford wrote for us, which to me is absolutely perfect. Anyone that speaks against it will face the back of my hand. Also, Anthony was sick so he couldn’t make this week, and his absence was definitely felt, but he’ll be back for the next one.

In this episode, we cover a variety of topics as always, which may or may not include the death of 1 vs 100, remakes of old games and Alien Swarm. Apparently when we recorded this, the phrases “fresh coat of paint” and “free” became our favorite words ever, because we say them no less than a million times each during the course of it. Seriously, if you are of drinking age, you should play a drinking game that revolves around each time we say either of those things. You will get plastered.

Anyway, as we requested last time, you should definitely go rate the podcast on iTunes if you haven’t done so already. Enjoy!
Continue reading The GamerSushi Show, Ep 6: Fresh Coat of Free

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What Issues Should Gamers Drop?

Halo: ReachWe gamers can tend to be a finicky bunch. We are armed with intelligence, a bit of free time, and a huge passion over a hobby/lifestyle that we feel terribly protective of. Naturally this is going to lead to a few scraps here and there, things that gamers don’t always see eye to eye on, whether that is with other gamers or the industry at large.

But how many of the battles we fight are really worth arguing about because they are legitimate issues, and which ones do we actually need to drop? Last week, Koku Gamer posted a slightly tongue-in-cheek yet interesting article bemoaning 5 things gamers need to get over. In my mind, it’s actually spot on, and I’m saying that as somebody who has griped about one or two of the things present.

Hit the jump to see the list! Continue reading What Issues Should Gamers Drop?

Chrono Cross Game Blog Part 0: Chrono Trigger Recap

Before I get fully invested in Chrono Cross and start this gameblog off properly, I thought it would be helpful if I gave a little background in what Chrono Cross and it’s predecessor, Chrono Trigger. You see, Chrono Cross was made pretty much to tie up the ONLY loose end from Chrono Trigger. CT managed to weave a fairly tight story, leaving only thing incomplete. What is that thing? Read on to find out.

Chrono Trigger was the story of a boy named Crono, who lived in the kingdom of Guardia in the year 1000 A.D. His friend Lucca, an inventor (of course) and a spunky princess (is there any other kind these days) also hail from that time period. Through a malfunction of Lucca’s latest invention, the trio find themselves moving back and forth through time.

They venture to the Middle Ages, which is in 600 A.D. and meet Frog, a swordsman transformed into a human-sized frog by a dark wizard named Magus. Then, they go forward in the future to 2300 A.D., where the world is a bleak wasteland. There, they discover that in 1999, Lavos, a parasitic monster, emerged from beneath the ground and rendered the planet a lifeless husk. Depressing, right?
Continue reading Chrono Cross Game Blog Part 0: Chrono Trigger Recap

The Curse of Fat Sonic 2 XL

OK, I’ve seen a few bizarre mods and hacks to videogames in my day. Some of these range from funny to weird and ridiculous to just plain awesome. This one for Sonic 2, dubbed “Sonic 2 XL“, actually might cover all of those categories, while smashing a few new ones all its own.

The hack basically puts a new spin on the Sonic franchise: namely, that rings transform our favorite speedy hedgehog into a morbidly obese blob that can’t move, and thus, dies. Like I said, it’s weird but also manages to be hilarious to look at. I laughed out loud at fat Sonic trying to outrun the explosions towards the end of the game.

What do you guys think of this? And what are some of the cooler mods you’ve seen to games? Also, this makes me want to go and play the real Sonic 2 quite badly.

Dastardly to the 19th Degree

I’m sure by now we’ve all heard of the Dastardly achievement in Red Dead Redemption, which awards you 5 shiny new gamerscore points for the act of tying a woman to railroad tracks and then watching her get run over by a train. While I’m quite the bastard in terms of video game morality, this scratches even the extents that I’m willing to go, so I have yet to pull this off, but I’ve always got my eye out for the opportunity.

However, it’s never occurred to me to tie 19 folks to the train tracks all at once. This fellow deserves a medal.

I just finished Red Dead Redemption the other night, and now I’m in the process of achievement plundering, myself. Has anyone else nabbed this one?

Today’s WTF: Valve Canceling E3 Event?

Well, file this one under “kind of freaking weird”, I guess. Not even our GameCop feature could have predicted this kind of psycho madness.

So, remember all that E3 Valve commotion that started last week? In case you didn’t remember here’s a brief recap. First, Valve said that it was going to have a “special surprise” at E3. Then, images circulated about a supposed “Gordon Freeman” thing that had to do with the surprise. Then Valve said that no, it wasn’t Half-Life 2 Episode 3. After that, there were rumors that this was going to be a reveal of a new Source Engine. Even farther still, Valve then announced that Portal 2 had been delayed to 2011.

Crazy, right? Well, now Valve has reportedly canceled its E3 2010 event completely. Here’s the note from Valve’s Doug Lombardi regarding the cancellation.

“Just a quick note to clarify the Monday Press Event at the Regal Theater is completely cancelled. Please do not head over there expecting to see us.”

What a strange, sordid tell. So what do you guys think? More Valve tomfoolery, or did this “special surprise” thing blow up in their faces once they realized that what people really wanted was Half-Life 2 Episode 3, and perhaps they didn’t have that for them. Thoughts?

Source- VG247

Russian Snack Company Wins the Internet With Their Commercials

You probably read that title and asked yourself “why is Mitch posting about Russian commercials?” Simple answer my friends: they are awesome, and video game related. The ads take two iconic video game franchises, like Contra and Tetris, and mashes them up in a versus setting. These ads have been running for quite a while, so there’s a few gems in there. The animated commercials are also a bit more mature than we’re used to in North America, but we’re all adults here, right? Catch Tetris versus Contra here, and Mario versus Pac-Man after the jump.

Contra versus Tetris:

Continue reading Russian Snack Company Wins the Internet With Their Commercials

GamerSushi Asks: Last Gaming Obsession?

Red Dead RedemptionOh video games, how I miss thee. I’m going on about a week now with no video gaming of any kind to speak of. This is partly from just being busy with regular old life things, but also because my wife and I went to Florida over the weekend for a nice break with some old friends. While the trip was awesome, I didn’t get to play any video games, so that was just a bit bogus.

So, now that I’m going through my withdrawals and the hallucinations are starting to settle in, I’ve been reminding myself how awesome it is to “go into the light” so to speak, and play video games until it’s completely unhealthy to do so. That’s right, I’m craving a mega gaming binge. Really, while I’ve had a few binges in recent months, it’s been a long time since I’ve been truly obsessed with a game. I think the last one for me was sadly, Halo Wars. I played the game every single night for months without stopping. The funny thing is, it wasn’t even that good of a game.

So what about you guys? With Red Dead Redemption, 3D Dot Game Heroes, Alan Wake and Super Mario Galaxy 2 dropping on us this week, it seems like the time is ripe for more gaming obsessions to begin anew. What was your last or most recent one? Go!

Also, I leave you all with a gchat conversation Mitch and I had about Red Dead Redemption today. After the jump. Continue reading GamerSushi Asks: Last Gaming Obsession?

Top Six: Our Favorite Developers

If you’ve ever watched the credits after the end of a game, you know that it takes a heck of a lot of talented people working very long hours to craft the piece of art you just enjoyed. Before that can even take place, though, you need someone with drive and vision that can get a project off the ground and keep it going when it falters. That’s where the lead developer comes in, and a lot of your favorite games have been made or broken on the whims of these visionaries. Who are some of the most prolific designers in the industry? Read on the see who, in no particular order, we’re pledging eternal obeisance to.
Continue reading Top Six: Our Favorite Developers

How to be a Gaming Jerk

Nothing quite brings out the inner jerk in me like a good rousing game of Halo matchmaking. For the last week, I’ve been enjoying Bungie’s new multiplayer offering in the form of the Halo: Reach Beta. Kicking it up with jetpacks, armor lock, Slayer and the like awakens old habits in me at times, it seems, even though much of the gameplay is new or different. Tonight, while playing, I found myself getting irritated at trash talkers. Soon enough, I was engaging in the famed tea bag maneuver at my opponents’ expense and it was glorious.

The funny thing is, sometimes this translates into other areas of gaming as well. GamesRadar has an awesome article up about 18 Ways to be a Bastard in Games, where they recount how you can be a total jerk in a number of different titles. They cover everything from killing hospital patients in GTA IV to choosing a character to die in Mass Effect simply because you get to have sex with the other. The most shocking thing about the list? I have done 11 out of the 18 things they mentioned, and most of the ones I haven’t done are because I haven’t played the game listed.

So what about you guys? What are your favorite ways to be a jerk in games? How many things on the list have you done? Go!

GamesRadar

Pop-Fiction Looks at Link to the Past Secrets

I have always been a huge fan of some of the retro looks that GameTrailers does in its numerous original videos. They do a really good job of taking a unique glimpse into some old favorites, and re-capping some lesser known facts about the games we’ve always known and loved.

Enter Pop-Fiction, their brand new gaming series where they test out gaming’s unsolved mysteries, one at a time. Think of it as a Mythbusters for old school games. Their first episode takes a look at the fabled Chris Houlihan room in Link to the Past. Very entertaining video, for sure.

So what are some of your favorite urban legends in video gaming? I think one of my favorite would have to be the Ermac character in Mortal Kombat.

Today’s WTF: 14 People Still Playing Halo 2

Halo 2 XBLThis is one for the history books, folks. On April 15, Microsoft said bon voyage to the old XBox Live, sending it away into that soft, tranquil night. Or on a boat in a waterfall, like Boromir’s arrow-riddled corpse in Lord of the Rings (spoiler alert). Anyway, they said bye to the old XBL, discontinuing support for original XBox games, including Halo 2.

However, there are some refusing to let this die. You see, there are 14 diligent fans that are continuing to play Halo 2, leaving their consoles up and running, connected to the old XBL. That’s right. 14 people in the entire world, and they say they are not stopping any time soon. There are actually several livestreams broadcasting a few of these last games, flickers of a game that won’t go quietly into that good night.

Here are the gamertags:
Agent Windex
APACHE N4SIR
sherlok 1
SieferSword
Rob2D
Detenn
z0mbie stench
Lord Odysseus11
xxMAKDADYxx
H2o Shoagie
xxBooker Dxx
DirtyCajun
AForeignObject
HiredN00bs

While I think the idea of playing a game that old for that long is ridiculous, you have to admire these guys’ commitment to this game. So what do you guys think? Worthy of salute, or mockery? Go!

Source- Bungie Forums

Earth Day: Gaming’s Greenest Characters

As you may or may not know, today is Earth Day, the day which we honor the great sacrifices of the Na’vi, who protected us from the metal mechwarriors that came after our hard-to-come-by-rillium. Wait, I think I got confused somewhere in the first sentence.

Joking aside, Earth Day is a day that exists to instill awareness about conservation and appreciation of the Earth’s environment. So I figured, what better way to celebrate this as gamers than to put together a list of the most eco-friendly videogame dudes. These characters range from martyrs to environmental protectors, and cover a broad spectrum of genres to boot.

So, who are gaming’s greenest characters? Find out below.
Continue reading Earth Day: Gaming’s Greenest Characters

Crysis 2 Makers Call Out More Games

Uncharted 2 Vs Crysis 2Dang. I always knew that Crysis sported itself some pretty graphics. Gorgeous, even. But I didn’t realize the original Crysis was such a groundbreaking smash of a hit in terms of narrative. Or at least, that’s what its writers and creators seem to think.

Earlier this week, Crysis 2 writer Richard Morgan called out Modern Warfare 2 for its story and its narrative. Then, he proceeded to follow that up with a shot at Halo, calling its archetypal characters “bullshit”. While it’s one thing to nip at the heels of the big dogs, it seems that Crytek isn’t quite done taking shots at other games. A new interview with the company’s CEO, Cevat Yerli, has now added Uncharted 2 to the list of giants that Crysis 2 is trying to fell with its stones of wordy criticisms. Here’s what Yerli had to say about the game.

It’s really great, and that’s an alternative style, but I don’t think they do justice to the medium of game. I think Mass Effect 2 is doing a better job to the game market, although it’s a completely different style to us, rather than Uncharted 2 or Modern Warfare, for that matter.

Say what you will about whether or not Richard Morgan or Yerli is right about any of the stuff they’ve made bold claims about with Crysis 2… but these dudes are dropping some major gonads down on the table. I mean, seriously, this game’s story had better start blowing some mothers out of the water with its brilliance when this game comes out.

Personally, I think their comments about Modern Warfare 2 are totally justified, and the ones about Halo slightly less justified (but not wrong), but calling out Uncharted 2 as not doing videogames justice seems a little out in left field for me. And this is coming from a guy who loved Mass Effect 2 just as much.

What do you guys think? Are these guys biting off more than they can chew? Have they been right about their comments?

Source- VG247

Today’s WTF: Fable III Allows XBL Friends with Benefits

Well, for those of you who have always longed to knock boots with that sultry voiced minx on your friends list, you may have finally gotten your chance. It seems that Fable III is going to allow for players to get intimate and create babies with their friends in co-op games. Hot stuff, right?

I mean, as with anything that goes in a Peter Molyneux game, this should be taken with the grainiest grain of salt one can think of, but still it’s interesting to talk about. The idea of a unique weapon that is tied to your profile and gamerscore? Sounds good, I hope it makes it in. The idea of a king-like RTS that takes over part of the tale? Another great idea, can’t wait. Sleeping with someone on my friends list to make virtual babies for our co-op game? Not so keen on that one.

However, if I’m being completely honest here, if there is an achievement for doing someone on your friends list to make a baby… someone out there is going to have to help me do this. I’m not a picky man, either. I only ask that you be gentle with my evil avatar.

Source- Kotaku

Top Six: Games You Shouldn’t Play Around Non-Gamers

As a lifetime gamer, I’ve come to accept certain facts about our pastime. The most difficult one to swallow, though, is the undeniable truth that gaming is very, very strange. Sure, we may not see it that way, but have you ever been playing a game and had your parents or a sibling walk into your room, pull a disgusted face and walk out? It may be because you were covered in Cheetos dust and Mountain Dew stains, but the greater probability is that they saw something on the TV screen that they just couldn’t comprehend. Well, to help you along with your family, I’ve assembled a handy list of games you should never play around non-gamers:
Continue reading Top Six: Games You Shouldn’t Play Around Non-Gamers

Kojima Says Consoles Will Be Dead Soon

Hideo KojimaWhile I’m not normally one to chalk hardly anything that Hideo I’m-On-Crack Kojima says up to rationality, occasionally he says something just wild enough that it’s worth a second look. After all, this is the same guy who said he wouldn’t be doing Metal Gear Solid 3 or 4. And yet, here we are reading updates about Peace Walker, the new PSP entry into the popular sneaking franchise.

Anyway, at yesterday’s press conference for the portable game, Kojima had a few rather bold claims to make about the future of gaming. In short, he basically said that soon, we won’t have consoles any more. O rly? Check out the quote.

In the near future, we’ll have games that don’t depend on any platform. Gamers should be able to take the experience with them in their living rooms, on the go, when they travel — wherever they are and whenever they want to play. It should be the same software and the same experience.

I certainly hope this quote is mainly coming from his desire to promote the new portable game that he’s making, rather than having any kind of insider knowledge about new technology. But like I said, I don’t put much stock in anything the guy says. I think the more interesting point of discussion here is the idea that people would ever transition from home console gaming and PCs to handheld only. It seems like such a niche market to me, I can’t see it ever becoming the mainstream way to play games.

So what do you guys think? Just promoting his game? Being a loony (not the Canadian kind)? Or is he a Gamestradamus, predicting our console (or no console) future?

Source- VG247

RoosterTeeth Builds a Grand Theft Auto Car

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if we could drive cars the way we do in video games? You know, from a third person point of view so that you could see everything around you. Well, so did the dudes over at RoosterTeeth.

As a result, they decided to build a rig that mounted a camera in a way that mimics the kind of driving we do all the time in games like Grand Theft Auto. They then blocked out the windshield and hooked up a monitor so that a few test subjects could try it out. The end product equals hilarity.

Source- RoosterTeeth