Having finished off the ice planet of Dezoris, I head back to Palma, buy some Diamond Armor and make sure everyone is ready to go. I buy lots of Burgers for healing, as well. Maybe I should have stopped at White Castle and gotten a suitcase. My party heads to the Gate of Baya Malay, which is the worst and least scary name of a dungeon ever. It actually sounds like one of those resorts that you always hear about but have no idea where it is. Like the Lesser Antilles or something. Sidenote: the Lesser Antilles makes me think of Wedge Antilles having a younger brother who parks spaceships for a living. But that isnât possible, because Wedge only had a sister and she was older than him before his parents were killed in a tragic fuel depot accident. Yes, I am the biggest Star Wars nerd ever.
So I enter the Gate and all that build up for a long ass maze with no enemies. Which normally would be a relief but now just fills me with a great sense of foreboding. Then again, it might be that Burger King I had for dinner. Oh, there is a Robot Cop who stops me and demands to see my passport, which I show him, but he attacks me anyway. Robot Cop, dead or alive, you are coming with me! Actually, just dead and I left his smoking, sparking carcass behind. I exit and enter another cave and then a tower. Could this be it? Alas, no, at the top is a guy who asks me some questions and then gives me a Crystal which allows me to open any sealed doors without using my magic OPEN spell. This is a great thing, as it will save me MP in the end. I warp back to town, heal up and start again.
I use the Crystal to enter the tower, which is 25 stories! And from what I understand, itâs not a straight climb, but a maze of going up and then back down and all kinds of hell. Once again, thanks to my readers for picking this game. There is a special hell reserved for you. After many enemies (the random encounter rate is off the charts here. Once again: Special Hell.) and many false turns, I make it to the 24th floor when BAM! A trap sends me back to the very beginning. But whatâs that? I am a hardcore, dyed in the wool RPG veteran and this ainât my first rodeo so I saved when I got to that floor? Instant reset and reload and we are back on track. I would like to thank me for being awesome. No power in the âverse can stop me!
I make it to the top and I use the AERO Prism, which makes the sky change colors and a floating castle appear in the clouds. I picked a hell of day to quit sniffing glue! My party tells me to feed that Laerma Nut to Myua. So give my magic nut to the pussy cat. Thatâs hot. Myau becomes enveloped in flames and emits a blinding light. I wonder if Dr. Mad still wants a piece of this pussy cat now? Myau grows wings! Awesome, this better equal more damage or something in battle. Myau flies us to the floating castle thingy, but we are attacked in mid-air by a Gold Dragon. Thatâs a color I donât have on my notched belt of dead dragons, so we quickly whip his gold ass into a stupor and land on the castle. We enter and itâs a new dungeon. Oh, joy. Wait, Lassic is waiting inside for me! We quickly killed him, but it was just a Fake Lassic, a Shadow. Boo! We continue on and there he is, the real deal.
Hello. My name is Alis Something-or-other. You killed my brother. Prepare to die. In a new twist, Lassic can use his magic to attack my entire party at one time, which causes all manner of havoc for me. One by one, the party falls, leaving only Alis left, which is poetic justice because she delivers the deathblow! Holy crap! I did it! A message appears telling me that Nero, Alisâ brother, is satisfied in heaven. Which is kind of interesting that we are getting telegrams from the afterlife, but whatever, I mean, the cat grew wings! The party says we should hurry to the Governor of Motavia. Soun—What?? Oh. Oooohhh. Oh. Hereâs a hint: when you beat what you think is the final boss, but the game tells you to travel somewhere else, that means it wasnât the final boss. I can totally tell that Square Enix loved this game when they first played it.
So we head back to the esteemed home of the Motavians, but first, I stop to restock and heal up. Like I said, this isnât my first time doing this. After arriving, the Governor is not there and I fall through a trap! After traveling down a loooong tunnel, he is waiting for me. But he is not the Governor, he is Dark Falz. Seriously? Dark Falz? Who is Dark Falz, you ask? Well, he is the embodiment of all evil and also the very first Super Secret Bad Guy You Didnât Know Existed But Was Really Behind The Whole Thing From The Start. Or, his shorter name, SSBGYDKEBWRBTHTFTS. His name is totally pronounceable, but it does require a lot of saliva.
In an evil turn of events, there is no HP counter for Dark Falz, which means I have no idea how my attacks are doing, so I just use the strongest stuff I have that has been working the whole game. And prayer. Lots and lots of prayer. Alis attacks and heals when needed, Myau does the same, Noah just attacks with his Wind spell and Odin just attacks. Oh, and Noah also dies. Not good. After several turns of this my team is getting weak, but BOOM! Odin kills Dark Falz! I BEAT IT! The real Governor appears, telling me I saved the Universe. All in a dayâs work, my friend. In a shocking bit exposition, we learn that Alisâ father was once king and Alis now becomes Queen! How utterly trite. The sky clears and peace is returned. Pictures of the cast are shown and I am told that though the evil has faded, our names will live forever.
So thatâs it. Itâs over. Honestly, I really liked this game. In 1988, it must have been amazing to play, but itâs still pretty awesome even today. To summarize it succinctly: Game beat. Asses kicked. Names taken. Time for a beer and a much deserved rest. If you guys liked this, I will do another one sometime, but only after a brief hiatus. Thanks for reading!
Though they might have been slightly overshadowed by the walking titan we know as Modern Warfare 2, two rather large games are making their presence known this week. One of them is a title that has had some silly controversy around it, and another is a sequel to a less than stellar but promising original IP that might turn into something more. I’m speaking of Left 4 Dead 2 and Assassin’s Creed 2, of course.
One of the things we strive for here at GamerSushi is to include you guys and keep this as democratic as possible (within reason of course) in order to make this an awesome community. As you all know, one of the things we do here is review games, most often the bigger titles that are hitting the market.
Ok, I won’t write a cheesy intro paragraph about Modern Warfare 2. You know what this game is. I won’t even make a statement about how you have to have been hiding under a rock to not know. I think it’s safe to say that we’re all familiar with this game, its controversies, and some of its more publicized info leading up to the epic launch this week. This is without a doubt the biggest title to drop this year. So, with all of the hype, how did it stack up?
Is there anything better than opening a new video game? OK, well maybe a few things, but seriously, purchasing and unwrapping a new game is for real a cool feeling. Something about the anticipation, the smell, and most of all… the instructions.
Oh yeah!
Tomorrow marks the release of Dragon Age: Origins and I honestly couldn’t be more excited. Through the recent release of the new Wheel of Time book, the Gathering Storm and Bioware’s new RPG tomorrow, I suddenly have a plethora of fantasy world experiencing to do. 
